My Apprehensive Love
by Cuteloopie2
Summary: Bella Swan confessed her loved for Edward Cullen but he just wants to stay friends. When the beautiful Jasper Whitlock comes to stay with Bella and her roommate Rosalie sparks fly. Will Edward still be content with friendship or realize he wants more? ExB
1. My Fail

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight._

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Chapter 1: My fail

"Edward, we've been friends for a while right?"

He muted the television in front of us and turned towards me. His green eyes focused on me. "You know it. What's up?"

I wiped my sweaty palms against my jeans. Here I was, 25 years old, acting like a school girl. I'd been in love with Edward since I met him my freshman year of college. I roomed with his younger sister, Alice, and hung out with them and their older brother Emmett. At first, my infatuation with Edward was based solely on his looks. I'm not even going to lie, the man was a god. He had messy, bronze hair, green eyes and a jaw that made me want to walk up to him and lick it.

But after I became friends with him, I realized there was more behind the face. He was actually a kind person. He double majored in Music Performance and Education. He wanted to make sure that elementary schools remembered the importance of music. He quickly became a close friend that I kept in touch with even after he graduated. And now after finishing my Master's, I was still head over heels. Emmett and Edward shared an apartment and Rosalie, Emmett's girlfriend and my best friend, stayed in the apartment above with me.

After a lot of deliberation, which included me whining to Rose every chance I got, I decided to tell Edward how I felt about him. Today was the day.

"I was hoping I could talk to you about something."

He gave me his infamous crooked smile. "You can talk to me about anything, Bella, you know that."

"Ok. Here goes." I cleared my throat. "Edward, I'm in love with you."

There I said it. Now all I needed is for him to give me that smile then lean over and kiss me. Then he would tell me that he feels the same way and we would live happily ever after. Right?

Instead of sweeping me away, Edward was frozen. His eyes were almost perfect circles. If the moment weren't so crucial to the rest of my life, I would have made fun of him. After a few minutes, I was beginning to understand that this wasn't necessarily a good silence.

"Bella," he began. His eyes were full of emotion. _Remorse and guilt and pity. Oh no!_ And there went my heart, along with my stomach, plummeting to the murky depths of depression.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way." He furrowed his thick brows. "I really like how things are between us. I don't want to mess that up."

I looked around the room, blinking rapidly. I still seemed to be alive, which meant that my wish for death hadn't come true. And the ground hadn't swallowed me whole as I requested. _Sigh_.

I stood up because I absolutely had to get out of his apartment. "Don't worry about it, Edward."

He stood with me. "No, don't do that, Bella. Talk to me. I want to make sure we're ok."

I couldn't even look at him. "Honestly, I'm embarrassed."

"Don't be," he murmured. He tipped my chin so I would have to look at him. "I think you're beautiful. You are one of my closest friends and I need you in my life. I couldn't even think of jeopardizing our friendship that way. Please tell me you understand."

"Sure," I said with false cheerfulness. _If I could just make it to the damn door without crying. _"I've embarrassed myself enough today, Edward. I think I'm going to head out."

"Are we ok?" he said worriedly.

"Sure."

"Bella," he groaned in frustration. "Please, tell me how to fix this. I can't lose you. You're so important to me. Tell me I didn't screw this up."

"No. If anything, I screwed things up," I laughed nervously. "You didn't mess up anything, I promise." _Right._ I walked across the room. Actually, it was probably more like a sprint.

"I'll see you later!" Ah, there was my 'chipper Bella' voice. Edward was practically running to the door behind me.

"I'll talk to you later?"

"Sure!" I'm pretty sure I heard him sigh behind me. He never liked when I said that.

As soon as I walked into my apartment the tears of rejection came to the surface. I walked into Rose's room and found her asleep. She was infamous for her afternoon naps. She was a model, which was obvious as soon as you looked at her. She was about 5'10'' with long blonde hair and a strange shade of blue eyes. They were almost violet.

My relationship with Rosalie was a little odd. We'd become friends after she started dating Emmett. I actually found myself attracted to her. I mean really attracted. I knew I wasn't a lesbian and I didn't want a romantic relationship with her but I was physically attracted to her. And the crazy thing was that the attraction was mutual. It became a running joke that she would leave Emmett for me whenever they were having one of their fights.

She was on her side. I snuggled in behind her. She always smelled like lavender.

"Hmm, Bella," she mumbled and moved closer to me. "What have you been up to today?"

"I went and talked to Edward." My voice must have sounded pretty pathetic because she turned around to face me.

"Oh, baby, come here."

I cried pathetically as she held me. We stayed this way for a few minutes before I was afraid I would start leaking snot all over her.

"So I take it you told him?"

I groaned. "Why didn't I just keep my big, fat, stupid mouth shut?"

"Hey, stop it. I like your big, fat, stupid mouth, it's sexy. Now tell me what happened. Do I need to go kick his ass?"

"Of course not. The thing that makes this so bad is that he was the perfect gentleman about it." I explained the entire conversation to her while she stroked my hair.

"I'm so embarrassed, Rosie."

"You should never be embarrassed about how you feel. He's just being a coward. He's so afraid that a relationship would mess things up between the two of you."

"I think my rational mind can understand that but my heart just feels the rejection. My heart? Crap, I sound like one of those cheesy novels."

I breathed in her sweet scent and placed a kiss on her neck. She shivered slightly and moved away from me so I could look in her darkened eyes. "Now stop trying to get me all hot and bothered, Bella. You're distracting me from the task at hand."

"And what's the task at hand?"

"Making you fall out of love with Edward Cullen."

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Thank you for reading. Let me know if I should continue. This is an Edward x Bella pairing story.

As always, I'd love to know what you think.


	2. My Avoidance

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight._

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Chapter 2: My Avoidance

I can honestly say that I didn't spend my time moping. Instead I spent all my time at work. I worked for a marketing research company called Smith and Drummond Elite. I interned there my freshman year of college and just stayed with it. Throughout the years I have gotten promotions and with my MBA I finally had the qualifications for the Senior Analyst position.

It had been three weeks since I told Edward how I felt. And I hadn't laid eyes on him since. I mean how could I? After a week of going to work and staying all day, every day, Rose realized what I was doing. She told me how Edward came to our apartment more, hoping to see me, but there was no way I was ready to see him again.

I sighed as I looked at the poorly done report on my desk. I picked up my office phone and cradled it to my ear as I scowled over the papers.

"Yes, Ms. Swan?" Lauren had been my assistant for the last three years. She was extremely competent and I was happy to have her with me.

"Lauren, could you send Ms. Stanley in here please?" Jessica Stanley was one of the research analysts. I'm not even sure how she made it through college. I didn't want to just give up and fire her though.

A few minutes later there was a timid knock at my door. "Come on in, Jessica."

Jessica came into my office nervously. She smoothed down her long, light brown hair and adjusted her sleek glasses. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes," I said calmly. I refused to take out my crappy mood on Jessica. "I'm missing the last five years of revenue from our food and dining clients."

"I…I didn't know I was supposed to include that," she said stupidly.

"Jessica, what is the main purpose of this report?" Ok even if I were in a good mood, I would still be calling her out.

"To find out future growth prospects."

"And how can you do that without the revenues? How will you know what works and what doesn't work without looking at those numbers?"

"Oh." Her cheeks turned a dark shade of pink. She should be embarrassed. She'd been working at this job for almost a year.

"Yeah." I plopped the offensive papers on the desk. "So I need you to take this and throw it away and start back over. I'll need it on my desk by 6 o'clock this evening."

Her dumb eyes got wider. "But I was supposed to get off at 4:30 today."

"And I was supposed to get a report that wasn't trash. I guess today has just gone to hell for both of us." So maybe that was a little harsh.

After she left the office in near tears, I closed my eyes and saw Edward smiling and laughing and being all perfect. So I did the healthy thing. I reached in my desk drawer and pulled out a Milky Way. Hmm, chocolate at 11:45 in the morning.

My desk phone rang before I could even sink my teeth into my candy bar. "Ms. Swan, you have a call from Rosalie Hale on line one."

"Thank you, Lauren."

_And here we go_. "Why the hell is your cell phone off?"

"Hi, Rose, I'm fine and you?"

"Don't be cute, Bella."

I sighed. "I'm busy. That's why I don't have my cell on."

"You're too busy for me?" She knew I was putty in her hand when she used that voice.

"You know I'm never too busy for you. I'm just trying so hard not to sulk so I've been working myself to the ground. I'm thinking about going to the gym tonight. You and Emmett have any plans?"

"Not that I know of. You want company at the gym? I can wear my little blue shorts for you."

"Yes, please," I laughed.

"Ok, I'll see you later on. Now put that chocolate bar down and go get some lunch."

I glanced around my office, shocked. "How'd you know I have a candy bar?"

"Because I know you. And I love you."

"I love you, too."

We hung up and I worked for a little while longer before my stomach rumbled loudly. I was just getting ready to leave when my phone rang _again._

Lauren was on her lunch break so I answered the phone myself. "Smith and Drummond, this is Bella."

"Hello, Bella, how are you?" It was one of my favorite people in the building. James was the Smith in Smith and Drummond. He was only a few years older. He inherited the company from his father after he died from cancer.

"I'm great, James. I was just on my way out for lunch, was there anything I can help you with?"

"I actually have a surprise for you. Why don't you meet me at the bistro across the street in about ten minutes."

After agreeing to meet him I left the building and walked across the street. I think I had an idea of what his surprise was but I didn't want to get my hopes up. I spotted him walking to a table and holding the seat out for a beautiful red head."

"Vicky!" I said at an embarrassingly loud volume. Victoria Smith was the head of the HR department and James' wife. She'd been on maternity leave and was now holding her precious bundle in her arms.

"Hey, Bella. I want you to meet Bree." I looked down into the baby's face and gasped. She was so beautiful. She had Victoria's pale green eyes but James' dark blonde hair.

I cooed at the baby while James smiled down at me and Victoria. He looked like the happiest man in the world. Lunch with the two of them was a bittersweet process. I was so happy to learn that Victoria was coming back to work. But it was hard to see the love that practically oozed between her and James.

We laughed while I told them about Jessica Stanley and her latest fits of incompetence. "Fire the bitch!" Victoria exclaimed.

James made a show of covering the baby's ears. "Come on, sweetheart, you said you would try to tone it down around Bree."

Victoria rolled her eyes at him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek causing my heart to clench. "Seriously though, Bella," James said after he picked up the baby. "I don't know why you keep giving her so many chances. I would have fired her ages ago."

"I know. I just know how it is to make mistakes."

After we left, I locked myself in my office and passed the day away by doing busy work. When the day ended, I left the office and turned on my cell phone. I had two new voice messages from Edward.

"_Hey, Bella. I haven't seen you in a while. I miss you."_

I saved the message because I'm pathetic and listened to the second one.

"_Bella, it's me again. Please don't shut me out. I want things to go back to normal between us, please. I miss you."_

I didn't even allow myself to think about the messages. I drove over to the gym and saw Rosalie waiting for me in the lobby wearing tight blue shorts with a black sports bra. I licked my lips because she looked so irresistible. She knew what those shorts did to me.

I scanned my card and a pretty woman with chocolate skin and dark eyes smiled at me. "Welcome back, Ms. Swan. If you need anything I'll be here to help you. My name is Kara."

I told her thanks and made my way to Rose. I raked my eyes over her ample curves as I walked closer. She squeezed her legs together.

"Bella, you can't look at me like that. You know how much that turns me on."

"You know I love those shorts on you," I said unapologetically.

"I know," she walked up and kissed the corner of my mouth. "You look good. I like when you wear your hair up like that. It makes me want to be the one to take it down." She kissed the spot behind my ear causing me to bite back a moan.

"Rosie, you're killing me."

"Sorry, baby." She smacked my butt playfully. We always flirted with each other like this. But we had to be careful because all I needed was a few drinks and I would be all over her. Instead of Emmett being jealous of our attraction he just requested that he be present for any make out sessions.

After I changed my clothes, I walked back over to the front desk and found Kara. "Kara, I've been really stressed lately. Are there any classes here that would help me?"

"Yeah," she said brightly. "We have a yoga class starting in about five minutes and a Pilates class starting in about 15 minutes."

Rosalie walked over and interrupted. "Kara, honey, that's not what she's looking for. She needs to beat the shit out of something."

Kara arched an eyebrow and had a twinkle in her eye. "Man problems?"

She led us down one of the private hallways. I could the weights crashing and smell the rubber. We walked into a room that had about five men in it. We walked past them to the far corner.

Kara stood in front of it proudly. "Ladies let me introduce you to Ben."

Ben was a huge punching bag that hung from the ceiling. I walked up to it and gave it an affectionate pat. "Ben, I think you are my new key to staying sane."

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Thank you for reading. Sorry for the lack of Edward. Don't worry he'll make his appearance soon. This was just a look at how Bella copes with things. So I hope you enjoyed it.

As always, I'd love to know what you think.


	3. My Memory Lane

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight._

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Chapter 3: My Memory Lane

It was Friday night and I was sitting in my sweats watching reruns of _Friends_. I was also halfway through a delicious bottle of wine. This resulted in me laughing extremely hard and loud when Joey was taking guitar lessons from Phoebe. Rose came in with bags of food that smelled delicious. I probably should have eaten dinner before I started drinking all of that wine.

"What smells good?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen.

"Chinese food, I got your favorite." We settled on the couch and I ate my honey chicken and lo mein while I finished off the bottle of wine.

"Christ, Bella." Rose was shaking her head disapprovingly which caused me to laugh for some reason. "You finished a whole bottle of wine by yourself? What the hell am I supposed to drink?"

"Never fear, my dear!" I leapt away from the couch and came back with a bottle of tequila. "I'll make some margaritas!"

She came in the kitchen and watched me poor over half the bottle of tequila in our small blender. "Are you trying to get me drunk?" she asked with a cocky smile.

"God, yes." I walked over to her and pressed her into the counter. "You better go ahead and call Emmett because I want to have my way with you."

She moaned and pressed her firm breasts into mine. "Bella, I'm barely keeping my hands off of you. Now stop it." She grabbed my butt and gave it a jiggle. "My plans tonight don't include us getting naked. Well, not yet anyway."

I pouted at her and finished making the drinks. "What are your plans? Don't you want me?" I was playing a little unfair but that's what happens when your brain is floating in a puddle of wine. She came behind me and pressed her body flush against mine. Her hands snaked around me and fondled my breasts.

"You know I want you," she whispered in my ear. "But if we take this further then I'll have to call Emmett and if I call Emmett then we can't talk about Edward."

Well that had my attention. "Why are we going to talk about Edward?" Didn't she know the friend code? The one were a friend doesn't mention the guy that broke her heart and the other friend keeps her mind off of it by alcohol and drunken hook ups?

She took a large gulp of the, mostly tequila, margarita. "I told you I was going to help you move on or did you forget?"

We settled on the couch and turned towards each other. "How will talking about Edward get me over him?"

"Because you're holding all these crappy feelings in. So we're going to talk about him and how much you love him then it's going to be out of your system and you can start to grieve."

"He's not dead, Rose."

"No, but your friendship will be if you don't let this go. You're going to grieve for the idea of being more than friends with him."

I stayed silent which seemed to be a challenge to Rose. "If you don't open up about all this Edward emo shit then I'll just have to call Edward down here so he can be all tall, green eyed and sexy and ask you what's wrong. And talk about how much your 'friendship' means to him."

"Evil, bitch," I muttered. "I should call Alice over here so she can buzz around the apartment."

"No!" Rose yelled. She had never been a fan of Alice. "There's nothing cute about somebody who acts like they're on crack and Red Bull."

I laughed. "I'll never forget the first time I met her."

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Seven years ago

I lucked out my first semester at Dartmouth by not getting assigned a roommate. However, over Christmas break, I was informed that an Alice Cullen would be moving in at the first of year. Great. Now I would have to be all nice and sociable and all those things that include being nice to a complete stranger who lives with you in a tiny dorm room.

I walked into the room and was instantly assaulted with loud music. A small girl, who couldn't have been taller than five feet, was dancing around the room.

"Um, hello?" I tried to call over the music.

"Oh!" The girl turned around with a hand over her heart. She had light, blue eyes with inky, black hair that was in some kind of weird arrangements of spikes or something. "You must be Isabella! It's so nice to meet you. I'm Alice Cullen. I just know we're going to be the best of friends."

Then she did the unthinkable. She wrapped her tiny, little arms around my waist and squeezed the hell out of me. "Ouch! Damn, girl. Are you trying to crack my ribs?"

"Sorry. I'm just so excited. You seem so nice already!" The only thing I had said to this girl so far was 'um hello' and then I accused her of trying to break my bones. If that's what nice was to her, I'd hate to see what mean is.

"My brother will be by in a few minutes to help me move a few more things in, I hope you don't mind."

"No problem. Let me know if I can help." I logged into my laptop and checked a few emails. There were two from my mom. I didn't see her over the break because she was traveling with her husband Phil. Instead, I went to Forks, Washington so I could be with Charlie, my dad, for Christmas.

Alice continued to unpack while she shot out question after question to me. She told me that she was also a freshman and had two older brothers that went to Dartmouth as well. I learned that she was actually from Chicago but her parents had recently moved to Seattle. She did a little happy screech thing when she realized how close we'd been over the break without realizing it. How exciting.

There was a knock at the door. And I thanked the clouds and stars and anything else up there for giving me a break from Alice. She opened the door to reveal a huge wall of muscle. He had dark, curly hair and two big dimples. He also shared Alice's light, blue eyes.

"Hey there, I'm Emmett. You must be Isabella." Before I could speak, he scooped me up in a hug that made me glad I didn't eat dinner yet. Otherwise it would have been a pretty gross situation for him. These two had to be the most touchy, feely people I'd come into contact with yet.

I straightened my shirt. "Call me, Bella. It's nice to meet you."

Emmett made a couple of trips back and forth. On his third time in our room I noticed he had company. I probably moaned out loud at the bronze haired god. He was a little over six feet and had the body of my dreams. He wasn't all tree trunk neck like his brother. He was actually kind of lanky but that was ok because I could see the way his black sweater hugged his chest and biceps. Yum. His hair kept falling in his dark, green eyes making me want to run my fingers through it.

"Bella, this is my other brother Edward." So sex appeal has a name and its name is Edward.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella." His voice was liquid sex. He shook my hand firmly and gave me this crooked smile that had me going cross eyed. Hopefully, I said something coherent. That is when my infatuation with Edward began.

The three siblings were actually close so I saw Edward and Emmett often. In the next few weeks, I walked around in a lust cloud. Edward stared in all my sexual fantasies. It wasn't until I was at the library alone with him that I realized how much more there was to him than his sexiness.

"What are you working on?" I asked Edward. He had a few sheets papers with music staffs on them and he would sigh every few minutes.

"My music theory class. I hate it, I have to make all of these chord progressions resolve." I knew absolutely nothing about music but I sure did like the way his lips moved.

"Sorry, that's over my head. Do you like being a Music major? Besides your theory class of course."

"Right now I'm at the point where I'm looking forward to what I can do with this degree."

"And what's that?"

"I want to teach music in elementary schools. There have been a lot of budget cuts and some schools are getting rid of their music programs. I've been donating money and time to certain foundations that will keep the music programs running."

As I listened to Edward talk about his hopes and dreams, I realized that I was falling for him. Instead of acting on these feelings I focused on becoming his friend. After a while, I was actually closer to him than I was with Alice or Emmett. He would walk me to class and we had a standing study session in the library about three nights a week.

Of course there were times when he would have to cancel because he would have a date but I wouldn't get all pathetic about it. I had a few dates myself. I was content with being Edward's friend. As long as I had him in my life everything would be fine.

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"I didn't know you fell for Edward so soon," Rose slurred. We had finished the entire pitcher of margaritas and were now sitting on the floor.

"It only took a couple of weeks." I did an attractive hiccup/burp combo. "Over the next year we became even closer, then Emmett met you and you know the rest from there."

"Yeah, I followed him all the way back here to Seattle like some love sick fool."

"You are a love sick fool," I giggled loudly. At this point I was way past drunk and over in the land of wasted.

"Shut up!" Rose squealed. "I do love him though. If it wasn't for him, you know I would be gay for you right? Well I am gay for you now but you know I would, like, try to be your bitch. Ah, shit what the hell am I trying to say? I'm so drunk."

I laughed hysterically for a whole five minutes. "I would try to be your bitch too, Rosie."

"Screw you, Bella." She pushed herself into a sitting position and tried to focus. "Ok, so we've talked about his good qualities, now let's talk about the bad."

"He's perfect, Rose, he doesn't have any bad qualities."

"Come on," she whined, "there has to be something. What does he do that bugs you?"

I thought for a minute or maybe it was like an hour. Time moves so fast or maybe even slow when you're drunk. "He's stubborn. And he's kind of spoiled. Everything has to be his way. He's way too hard on himself and doesn't believe people when they tell him what a good person he is."

I was crying by this point. Rose situated me so I had my head on her chest. She played with my hair while I sobbed.

"And everything is so black and white with him. What about the gray? I'm so pissed at him for not giving a relationship with me a chance! That's the gray!"I sniffled for a few more minutes.

"And he's too damn pretty."We burst out laughing at that and watched a random movie quietly.

"I'm pathetic, Rosie," I said after the movie was over.

"No. You just fell in love with a guy who doesn't want to leave his comfort zone and explore something new."

"That doesn't make it hurt less."

"I know, baby. But isn't it starting to hurt a little less?"

"Maybe," I admitted. I knew I still wanted Edward to be in my life. If friendship was what he wanted, friendship is what he would get.

"You're too strong to let this get you down, Bella. I'm here for you, you know that."

"I know." I yawned and gave Rose a quick peck on the lips. "I love you, Rosie."

"I love you, too."

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Thank you for reading! I really appreciate your support. This chapter was actually inspired by a review that requested that I give a flashback or two about how Bella met Edward. I'll try to make the chapters a little longer but that might delay my fast updating. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

As always, I'd love to know what you think.


	4. My Night Out

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things _Twilight._

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Chapter 4: My Night Out

"Please, Bella?" Rose puckered her soft, pink lips.

Another couple of weeks had passed since our drunken talk about Edward. I spent plenty of time at work and at the gym. I actually sent Edward a text letting him know that everything was fine. He was starting to get frantic because he hadn't seen me. I missed hanging out with him and Emmett and apparently Rose did too.

For the last hour she had been trying to convince me that the four of us should go out to this new bar. She claimed that I was ready to move on and wanted to put me to the test to see how I would act around Edward.

"It'll be great, Bella. You'll wear something hot so he can see what he's missing."

"That's the thing, Rose, I don't want to play any games like that. I don't want to dress up for him. I want to dress up because I want to go out with my friends and have a good time. I've accepted that he only wants friendship and I've decided that it's all I want too."

"Really?" Rose asked with an eyebrow raised.

"There's no point of me wanting someone who doesn't even want to take a chance with me."

"It sounds like you're ready to face him them."

I nodded. "Maybe. I'm still a little bitter about the whole thing. I don't want to be one of those passive-aggressive types."

She gave a laugh that sounded like tinkling bells. "I doubt you could be passive-aggressive if you tried."

"Shut up." I tossed a pillow at her. "I'm not that bad."

"So? Will you go?"

"Fine," I sighed. She jumped on top of me and placed warm kisses all over my face. I couldn't help but laugh at her excitement. I went to our stereo and turned on some appropriate music to get us in the mood for a night out.

I took a quick shower and stood in front of my mirror. I knew I was an attractive woman, maybe not in Rose's league but I could hold my own. I had a heart shaped face with large, deep brown eyes. My nose was small and my lips were plump. With a bit of make-up and a comb I could turn a few heads.

I stood naked and looked at my body. I'd always been small, but these last few weeks at the gym had toned me up nicely. I was a nice B cup but guys generally liked the curve of my butt. I had those hips that were referred to as 'child-bearing' but my waist was small enough to give me the coveted hour glass figure.

I brushed my teeth and gave myself that big grin that everyone does after they brush their teeth. But it turned into a real smile because life was good. I was young, healthy and successful and tired of dwelling on all the negative emotions. I'd just put the towel around me when Rose came into my bedroom with a cup. She didn't say anything, just let her eyes linger over my body. I started feeling all warm and tingly.

"You're blushing," she purred. She walked closer to me, causing my heart rate to increase. I backed into the wall like prey trapped in the corner. She stopped in front of me and took a deep breath in.

"You smell like vanilla and strawberries." She placed a soft kiss on my collar bone.

"My shampoo and body wash," I sputtered out. She looked deep in my eyes, leaned over and pressed her full lips into mine.

I groaned as soon as she pulled away. She had her eyes closed and was taking deep breaths.

"Here." She shoved a glass of clear liquid at me that seemed to appear from nowhere. "This was why I actually came in here."

I took a gulp and tasted a refreshing burst of fruit. "Hmm, what's this?"

"Bacardi Dragonberry and Sprite." She was still shaking herself out of our little lust bubble. I hadn't eaten yet so the drink was already making me feel a little light headed.

"Hey can you do me a favor?" She was already walking to the kitchen. "Will you call Em and see when they'll be ready? I'm about to take a shower."

Emmett answered on the second ring. "Hey, Bella!"

"Emmett, how are you?"

"I'm great, really looking forward to tonight. It's been way too long since we've all got together."

"I guess that's my fault."

"No," he sighed. "I heard about what happened between you and Edward."

That's kind of embarrassing. "I figured."

"He just has his head up his ass, Bella. Don't give up on him."

"I already have."

We finished our conversation and I tried to figure out what to wear. I refilled my glass of alcohol because that's what helps me pick out my outfits. I decided on a dark pair of skinny jeans with dark blue top. The top was one of my favorites because it gave me plenty of cleavage to bounce in people's faces.

By the time Rose was ready I was already on my third drink. She stepped out of her room looking delicious in black, leather pants with some kind of red halter. I must have said some made-up word because she looked at me strangely.

"How much have you had to drink, Bella?" I held up three fingers.

"And when was the last time you ate?"

I guzzled some more of my thinking juice before I answered. "I had a salad for lunch. And…wait! I had another Milky Way."

Rose laughed. "I'm going to get me another drink so I can catch up with you."

A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door and Rose let Emmett and Edward in. Emmett looked good in his black button down shirt and dark jeans. He smiled, causing his adorable dimples to show. Edward, on the other hand, looked sinful in a pair of jeans and a green sweater that hugged his muscular chest. His eyes seemed to sparkle as he walked directly towards me.

"Bella," he sighed and scooped me up in a hug. I buried my head in his chest and took a deep breath. He smelled like rain, vanilla and Edward. "May I speak to you alone before we leave?"

His eyes were so serious that all I could do was nod. We went to my bedroom and closed the door. I sat on the bed and watched him pace around my room before crouching down so he was eye-level with me.

"Tell me what to do," he finally said.

"Huh?" I forgot how eloquent alcohol made me.

"I haven't seen you in over a month and the only time we've talked is through text messages. I can't stand it. I never meant to hurt you. Please tell me what to do to make things right. I can't lose you." Man, his lips looked good.

"Edward, I just needed some time to bounce back. I'm good now." He cocked his head to the side skeptically. I just patted his cheek and stood to leave.

"Bella, wait!" He blocked the door. "Do you forgive me? I'm sorry hurt you."

"I'll get over, Edward," I told him. "We're good."

He gave a kiss on the cheek that made my heart beat entirely too fast. I'm sure my face was red but that could have easily been blamed on the alcohol.

Emmett sat on the couch with Rose in his lap. "So who's the DD?"

I waved between him and Edward because I was obviously buzzed. I'm pretty sure Rose was feeling pretty mellow too.

"I vote for Eddie," Rose said. "It's his fault we all haven't been together in a while."

She tried to say it playfully but I could tell from the slight narrow of her eyes that she was serious. She was happy that Edward hadn't led me on but at the same time upset that he'd hurt me.

I shifted to my other leg because this whole standing thing was getting to me. "Why don't we just catch a cab? I'm sure Edward wants to have fun."

Edward gave me a relieved smile. We caught a cab and I sat in the passenger seat because I needed my space from Edward. I wasn't really feeling bitter anymore but I still didn't need to be sitting on his lap. The club we arrived at was already in full swing. Rose batted her eyelashes at the bouncer to get us in quickly.

She leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Em and I are going to get drinks. Will you be ok looking for a table with Edward?"

I nodded and kissed the side of her mouth. Emmett grinned at me and leaned over. "Where's my kiss?"

I rolled my eyes and kissed him directly on the lips just so he wouldn't whine about it. He dramatically put his hand over his chest and sighed. Thanks to the extra loud music, Edward and I didn't have to make small talk as we sat down at a table. Instead, we smiled at each other and nodded our heads to the music. Rose and Emmett came back with a pitcher of beer and tequila shots.

I was already shaking my head. "No way, Rose! Last time we did body shots we practically had sex on the bar."

"Tell me about," Emmett grinned already lost in the memory. He was the person who kept supplying the liquor, salt and limes.

Rose elbowed Emmett. "We're not doing body shots." She then put a little salt on her hand and did her own shot, grimacing as the liquid burned her throat.

After we finished all the shots and half the pitcher of beer, I was ready to dance. "I'm going to go dance," I yelled over the music.

Edward stood with me. "Would you like to dance with me?"

I panicked briefly. While grinding on Edward would make any girl's dream come true, I knew it wouldn't help me through my whole Edward-doesn't-love-me-so-I-have-to-get-over-him-ordeal. Seeing my hesitation, his face fell.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I just don't want to give myself false hope." _Shit._ "I mean, I don't think me dancing with you will help me get over you. God, that's embarrassing to say out loud."

"You're trying to get over me?" He whispered this in my ear, causing me to shiver. I took a step away from him

"Stop that! Of course I'm trying!" I glared at him when he tried to say more. What more could he say? I turned and went to the dance floor. A few dances later, I completely forgot about all the Edward drama and was finally having a good time. I danced with a few guys and even a couple of girls. Emmett and Rose were dancing as well. I was having such a great time that seeing Edward dancing with some girl didn't shatter my heart like I thought it would. It hurt, don't get me wrong. But it was tolerable.

I went to the bar to get a bottle of water. I sat in one of the barstools sipping my water and people watching.

"See anything interestin' out there?" A deep voice asked in a southern drawl. I turned and saw a man with wavy blonde hair that came to his chin. His eyes were a startling blue-gray. His smile was broad with a dimple on his right cheek. He wore a snug black shirt that emphasized his muscular chest, arms _and_ shoulders. His pants showed that his thighs were thick and powerful. He was probably about 6'2 and he was still waiting for me to speak. What did he say?

"Excuse me?" There, that sounded intelligent.

"I assume you were people watchin'. I asked if you saw anything interestin'."

"Well actually," I started as I leaned over conspiratorially, "I think that brunette girl over there with the white skirt on doesn't have on underwear."

He found the girl and looked at her with narrowed eyes. "How do you figure?"

"Well let's just say…I think the carpet matches the drapes."

His eyes bulged and he started laughing this deep, rich, make you stop what you're doing laugh. "I think I see you're point. Name's Jasper Whitlock."

I shook his warm, slightly rough hands. "Bella Swan."

"Well, it's a real pleasure to meet you, Bella Swan." And there was my blush. He looked at my cheeks and gave me another smile. "Now let's find somebody else to laugh at."

We sat at the bar for about a half hour, talking about people and laughing. I found out he was originally from a small town outside of Houston, Texas and was in Seattle on business. I was telling him a little about myself when Rose came over.

"Jasper? What are you doing here?" She ran over to him and gave him a big hug and a kiss on both cheeks.

"Rosalie Hale, you sure are lookin' beautiful." Even Rose blushed for this guy, unbelievable!

"What's it been, seven years?" Jasper was nodding when Rose looked over at me. "I see you've met, Bella. Isn't she delicious?"

"Rose!" I swatted her butt for embarrassing me.

"Yes, she is," Jasper said as his eyes darkened. I listened to them talk and found out that they knew each other through their modeling careers. They met in New York City and actually did a few shoots together.

"I'm through with all that," Jasper was saying, "I got my MBA with a concentration in Finance so I'm actually here for a job interview."

"Really? That's great, Jas. Where are you staying at?" Rose asked.

"Probably at some hotel. I came straight here from the highway."

"Why don't you stay with me and Bella? We have an extra bedroom."

Jasper looked hesitant. "Are you sure?"

"Yes! And you can tell me how your gorgeous mother is doing."

Jasper rolled his eyes affectionately at the mention of his mother. "She's over the moon that I've got this interview. I'll let you speak with her tomorrow when I call. I know she'll be glad to hear from you."

Rose was already planning a big lunch but she still made time to look over at me and wink. I saw Edward sitting alone at our table so I went over to tell him that we were about to leave.

"Who's that?" he asked before I could get a word out.

"That's Jasper Whitlock. Apparently him and Rose knew each other a while ago."

"But I saw him talking to you before Rose even came over."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Yes, he and I were talking. Then Rose came over."

"Is that really wise? To be picking up men in bars?"

"Whoa! I'm not picking up men. Why would you say that?"

He looked petulant. "I'm just wondering if you should be throwing yourself at random guys. I mean just recently you were claiming to have feelings for me and now you're over here with this guy. It just makes me concerned for your reputation."

While other people tend to start yelling and screaming when they get mad, I get quiet and cold. I knew that Edward had a few drinks but it didn't give him the right to act this way.

"Are you jealous?" I asked once my emotions were in check.

His eyes flashed up to mine. "Of course, not," he said incredulously.

"Then tell me why you're acting like this, because I don't understand."

He crossed his arms and looked like a five year old. "I'm not acting like anything. I'm just making sure you know what you're doing."

"Well it sounds like you're accusing me of being a whore."

He looked horrified. "No, Bella. I would never think that."

"Then what the hell is this all about?"

"I don't know!" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I just don't understand how you claimed to have feelings for me and then just jump off with another guy."

I counted to 10 before I allowed myself to respond. "First of all, I'm not about to 'jump off with another guy'. Jasper is a nice person who I find interesting. Maybe I want to get to know him better but I'm not some whore who just goes off in the back room for a quickie with a guy I just met."

He opened his mouth but I interrupted him rudely. "Second! I don't know how you get off saying I 'claimed' to have feelings for you. Did I not mope around long enough? Was I supposed to follow you around like some love sick puppy? Would that _prove _how I felt?"

I was getting dangerously close to exploding so I just turned to walk away. Edward reached and grabbed my wrist spinning me around. "That's not what I meant! It didn't come out right!"

The moment he touched my wrist I saw red. "How dare you?" I wrenched my wrist away. "I put myself out there and was rejected by you. I took some time to myself so I could be ok enough to continue our friendship. And what's the first thing you do? You act like an ass the second I _talk _to somebody else! If you're not jealous then what is it?"

Edward didn't get to answer his question because Emmett was suddenly between us with a furious expression on his face. "Edward, back off. You've had too much to drink and you're about to fuck things up to the extreme. Go find us a cab."

Edward gave me a pleading look before he slumped his shoulders and went outside. Emmett turned towards me and opened his arms. "Don't listen to him right now, Bella. He's just confused and he's being an asshole."

I batted Emmett's arms away because if I hugged him then I would cry and that wasn't going to happen. Emmett didn't seem upset as he patted me on the shoulder instead. "You want me to kick his ass?"

"You and Rose are so perfect for each other," I laughed. I leaned up and gave him another kiss and curled into his side. Rose walked towards us with Jasper. She immediately noticed my face and came over to me.

"I'm going to kick his ass. What did he do?" she questioned. Emmett and I looked at each other and smiled.

* * *

Thank you for reading. This chapter was a little longer. I hope it was enjoyable. It made me so happy when someone told me that they like "my Bella." That means a lot, really. Please forgive any mistakes. This story is not beta'd.

As always, I'd love to know what you think.


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